Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Four

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three]

Thus, the question set forth has yet to be answered, “What’s an unmarried woman to do?” There is only one place where the Bible specifically addresses the situation of the unmarried woman in contrast to that of the married woman. We would do well to carefully consider the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:34-35, “There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (emphasis added)

Paul identifies a deliberate distinction between the focus and duty of the unmarried woman and that of the married woman. It was enlightening to discover that the words “difference” and “careth” come from the same Greek root. It is as though Paul was categorically separating the married from the unmarried by defining their unique roles. In other words, God has not equally bestowed the same roles and responsibilities upon all women, regardless of their matrimonial state. Married women have specific roles and responsibilities because they are married. Unmarried women have specific roles and responsibilities because they are unmarried.

This Biblical distinction is the premise upon which an unmarried woman should evaluate and base her decisions. Her primary focus must be on “the things of the Lord.” This primary focus will lead her to live a life of holiness in body and in spirit because she is seeking to serve and please the Lord in whatever endeavor He may lead her. If her primary focus is on preparing for a husband, she will become discontent with being unmarried, which Paul proscribes – he wants the unmarried woman free from the expectations and duties of those who are married, so that she may “attend upon the Lord without distraction.”

Here is the crux of the issue – our Sovereign God alone knows what the future holds. Therefore, He alone is uniquely able to prepare an unmarried woman for what her future holds. Rather than dogmatically insisting that an unmarried woman should only be engaged in certain pursuits, young women should be encouraged to pursue “the things of the Lord,” recognizing that this will mean a different direction for different women – based, not upon her own desires or the changing philosophies of the world, but upon the personal leading of the Lord in her life as He molds her into the godly woman that He desires. In addition to her own study of Scripture and prayerful consideration, a young woman must not overlook the vital role of her parents in directing her decisions. The Lord has placed them in her life to give counsel and direction. Honoring and obeying them is a key ingredient in a life that is pleasing to the Lord. If she rejects their counsel and direction, then she has cut herself off from the light that would otherwise illuminate the way set before her by the Lord. “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.” (Proverbs 6:20-23)

This unmarried woman can be related to the young woman who was mindful of the probability of a future trip and made notes in preparation for such. It would be wise for an unmarried woman to carefully observe the examples – both positive and negative – of those around her and learn from them. This principle is vividly portrayed in Proverbs 24:32. After observing the field of the slothful and its state of disrepair, the writer notes, “Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction.” Many little nuggets of wisdom can be gleaned by carefully observing the lives of others and viewing them in light of Scripture. [As an aside, I have found it helpful to keep a small journal in which I record specific principles and ideas that I’ve gleaned from observing others in situations in which I anticipate that I might find myself at some point in the future – from courtship to marriage to parenting, etc.]

Incidentally, I believe that these same principles apply to the life of the unmarried man. (1 Corinthians 7:32-33) As both the man and woman that God has intended for each other focus on “the things of the Lord,” He will allow their paths to cross once He has finished preparing them for the life they will live together as husband and wife. Of course, His sanctifying work will continue throughout the remainder of their lives, but they will have received the necessary preparation for the husband to serve as the leader of the home, casting the vision for the family, and the wife to be his helpmeet, using the specific areas developed by God during her unmarried years to come alongside her husband, supporting and carrying out the vision God has given him.