“Before I came to the foreign mission field full time, I tried to take various measures to win the lost both at home and in other countries, such as handing out tracts or befriending lost people and witnessing to them. But since being married, the Lord has revolutionized my view of ministry. Because I am now a wife, my role is one of support. It is my job to back up my husband and help him in his calling as a missionary, not necessarily to be the missionary… …Each one of us as women can have an important impact in changing this world by fulfilling our God-given roles and serving under the direction of our authority.”

I confess, even a year ago, I might not have found myself agreeing so readily with the sentiments expressed by Kelsie. But the Lord has ever so patiently been at work on my mind and heart, transforming and conforming me according to His powerful Word by which is “given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.” (2 Peter 1:3-4) Oh that we might increasingly experience the precious promises of God in our lives as we recognize and embrace the unique roles to which He has called us and which He has revealed to us in His Word!

The marriage covenant is not specific to Christians, but was established at the outset of God’s creation of the human race and is equally binding on all marriages between a man and a woman.

We have seen how Jesus upheld the lifelong covenant of marriage in His teaching. Now we will look at Paul’s teaching on marriage.

We first see Paul refer to the marriage covenant in his letter to the Romans:

“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”

Romans 7:2-3

Paul clearly upholds marriage as established by God in the beginning – as a lifelong covenant that ends only when one of the parties dies.

We next find a lengthy discussion of marriage by Paul in I Corinthians 7. Specifically, we see Paul address a situation where an unbelieving spouse departs from a believing spouse:

“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”

I Corinthians 7:15

This departure (or putting asunder) was what Jesus expressly commanded against:

“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Matthew 19:4-6 (emphasis added)

Is Paul now saying that the departure of an unbelieving spouse would render the marriage covenant established by God no longer binding? Certainly not. We have already seen that Paul understood the marriage covenant to be terminable only by death.

If someone is “under bondage” to another, they are obligated to follow them wherever they go. They are constrained to do whatever the one to whom they are in bondage requires of them. Numerous places in Scripture, we are taught that those who are bound to earthly masters are as freemen in Christ. Servitude to an earthly master did not exclude one from being a servant of Jesus Christ. And to the extent that the one to whom they were in bondage did not require them to violate the law of God, they were to continue their servitude to that person. Nowhere in Scripture are we taught that we are no longer bound to the law of God.

In the case of an unbelieving spouse who departs, Paul exempts a believing spouse from continued bondage to that person. They are to let the departing spouse leave and are not obligated to go with them. The departure is a physical separation initiated by man, but does not nullify the marriage covenant as instituted by God. The man and woman have become one flesh – joined together by God – and only death will end the union.

The one who departs does so in violation of the law of God. This does not make the law of God any less binding on the one who remains. If anything, the believing spouse ought to be more resolved than ever to remain faithful to their marriage covenant. For while an unbeliever may completely disregard the law of God, believers recognize that the very faith through which they are saved also establishes the law. (Romans 3:31)

Paul wraps up this discussion of marriage by saying:

“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.”

I Corinthians 7:39-40

So we see that Paul continues, in his teaching on marriage, to uphold marriage as it was originally instituted by God – as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman.

“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

Matthew 5:31-32

Just as in the other laws, Jesus was raising the standard for how the people had come to view marriage. We saw that both Mark and Luke recorded this teaching in their Gospels. For a specific reason, however, Matthew is the only one who additionally recorded what is often referred to as “The Exception Clause.”

Jesus intentionally used the word “fornication” when He explained that a man could “put away his wife” for this cause alone. In the same sentence, He used the word “adultery” twice. It’s clear, then, that Jesus was not saying that adultery was a justifiable cause for divorce. In order to understand to what Jesus was referring when He made this statement, it’s helpful to consider the real-life illustration where this is exhibited. Please notice that it is also recorded only by Matthew in his Gospel. Only a few chapters before, Matthew penned the following:

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.”

Matthew 1:18-20

According to Jewish custom, if a man who was betrothed wanted to call off the marriage, he had to “put away”/divorce his “wife.” In essence, Jesus’ teaching gave legitimacy to the intentions of Joseph (and any other man who found himself in the same situation) by saying that if a betrothed man found his wife (as she was called) guilty of fornication, he was justified in putting her away. A betrothal was held to be as legally binding as a marriage. The difference is that a betrothed couple had not yet physically consummated their marriage, thus they had not yet been joined together for life by God.

Apparently the Pharisees either weren’t in the crowd when He gave His sermon or they just didn’t get it. Either way, we see them approaching Jesus later on this same subject:

“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”

Matthew 19:3

I’m not sure what they were expecting Jesus to say, but He took them all the way back to the beginning:

“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Matthew 19:4-6

Once a man and his wife are physically united, they become “one flesh.” God has joined them together for life. Jesus affirmed the marriage covenant as originally instituted by God. It is unbreakable by anyone or anything, except death. In violation of God’s law, man may “put [it] asunder” by initiating a separation, but as we have seen, this entitlement contrived by man even still does not end the marriage itself in God’s eyes.

Dissatisfied with His answer, the Pharisees pressed the issue:

“They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Matthew 19:7-9

Jesus continued to affirm the life-long marriage covenant as instituted by God in the beginning. To do anything else would have been to destroy the original law that God had given concerning marriage between a man and a woman. Jesus Himself said:

“Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.”

Matthew 5:17-18

Thus we can see that Jesus was, indeed, upholding the law of God, not providing an exception to it.

In How Long Does Marriage Last?, the first post in this series on marriage, we laid the foundation for the Biblical teaching that marriage is a life-long covenant between a man and a woman that is instituted by God. This truth will be reinforced as we understand what God’s Word teaches about adultery.

In the Gospels of both Mark and Luke (we’ll discuss the Matthew passages in the next post), Jesus unequivocally states that anyone who puts away (divorces) his wife and marries another commits adultery. The same is true for a woman.

“And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”

Mark 10:11-12

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Luke 16:18

Adultery takes place when a married man or woman engages in a sexual relationship with someone who is not their spouse. Thus, for Jesus to say in these passages that marriage to another constituted committing adultery, He was making it clear that the first marriage was still binding. Anyone who does divorce his or her spouse, according to Scripture, is still married to that spouse and is not free to marry anyone else. To do so is to commit adultery.

Paul presents this same truth and teaches that only death releases one from the law and grants them freedom to be married to another person.

“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”

Romans 7:2-3

In I Corinthians 7, Paul pens this commandment from the Lord:

“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”

I Corinthians 7:10-11

It is important to note that Paul is not saying that the woman who has departed from her husband reverts back to the status of an unmarried woman. Rather, he is commanding that she remain unmarried to another person. We can ascertain this from his very next words which give her the alternative of being “reconciled to her husband.” If she was no longer married, then this man would no longer be called her husband.

Later, in this same discourse on marriage, Paul again emphasizes that marriage ends only at the death of one of the spouses:

“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

I Corinthians 7:39

We see in Scripture that one is classified as either “married” or “unmarried” and a divorced person falls into the “married” category. Therefore, they are not at liberty to marry another person, and to do so is to commit adultery.

Sadly, God’s people have equally contributed to our nation of adulterers. Let us heed the counsel God gave Solomon:

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

II Chronicles 7:14

There is hope for our nation! But it must begin with us – God’s people. We must turn from our adulterous ways and walk before the Lord according to all that He has commanded us.

A careful study and understanding of Scripture will reveal that God instituted marriage as a life-long covenant between a man and a woman. Period. When a man and woman are married and physically consummate their marriage, God joins them together for life. God specifically instituted marriage because of His creation of the two sexes. We see God’s institution of this union immediately after His creation of Eve:

“And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

Genesis 2:21-25

In God’s covenant with Israel (and then Christ’s covenant with His church), which is set forth as a model for marriage, we again see the permanent nature of this union. It is critically important to our understanding of the marriage covenant that we don’t miss this important foundation of God’s covenant with Israel: The covenant was based, not on the faithfulness of both parties, but on the faithfulness of God. This becomes distressingly clear as we observe Israel’s behavior in the years to follow as she plays the harlot and prostitutes herself with the gods of the heathen nations.

“The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot. And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks…Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion.”

Jeremiah 3:6-9, 14

This is critical because the prevailing mindset in our society is that if a husband or wife is unfaithful, the other spouse has just cause to end the marriage. This is not the example that God has given us. (We see in the above verses that even after God had given Israel a “bill of divorce,” he still claimed He was “married unto [her].” Thus, the bill of divorce did not terminate the marriage.) And this is not the standard to which God has called us to live. A marriage covenant must be entered into with each party vowing to be faithful to the other unto death, regardless of the faithfulness of the other spouse.